Well, we leave for the airport in about 18 hours. Our last day will be one of relative relaxation here at the INCREDIBLE rooftop pool at this hotel and a last visit to the beach. Some of this I will be doing "solo" as some of the JFI'ers from Modi'in are coming in to Tel Aviv to see Sarah one more time. A few words about JFI here. Of course I don't know the other JFI groups but this one really does seem to be exceptional. Sarah is very sad about leaving them and already talking about when she can come back.
You know, when she was applying to participate in JFI several folks told us that this would be a life-changing experience. Well, it certainly has been. For one thing, I have a daughter who is much more self-assured. Example: We needed to ship this package home. So we were at the post office in Modi'in (Reut actually, but it's part of the same greater Modi'in area) and it seemed that they were on "siesta". It was about 1:30 PM and the sign said that they re-opened at 3:30. We were in the anteroom to the post office but the windows for the clerks all had blinds drawn. We could hear folks in the back. I said to Sarah, "I wonder if we can leave this thing here until they re-open" (it was VERY heavy and we had just schlepped if from the car). Normally, Sarah would have said something like, "I don't know. Why don't you ask?" Instead, she got up, walked up to the window and said -- in an assertive tone, "Slicha" (= "Excuse me"). No answer. So, rather than giving up or looking to me to do something she said, a bit louder, "Slicha b'vakasha" (= "Excuse me, please!). A woman came out and Sarah asked the question and we were able to leave the box. Another time, we were in J'm and I had pooped out. My sister-in-law was with us and Sarah said, "Mom why don't you take a cab back to the hotel and we'll meet you in a couple of hours?" She then proceeded to hail a cab for me -- and give the driver directions about where to go!!!
Perhaps even more important than Sarah's new-found self-assuredness is her very different perspective. She has commented to me several times that after seeing what she saw in Poland she realizes how privileged she is and lucky to be free to pursue whatever path her heart desires. She now sees studying for the SAT's and going to college as a privilege that was denied to so many others and which she wants to embrace. Moreover, she has several times said things like, "You know, my outlook on life has really changed. I just can't imagine someone not going to school because they woke up and had a pimple on their face! Or being upset that someone is wearing the same outfit as you are. None of that stuff really matters. There are REAL problems in the world and if you're going to be upset, be upset about THOSE!" Wow!!
She has also expressed some concern that she may have some difficulty relating to some of her school friends who did not share this profound experience. The good news is that she feels that she has grown MUCH closer to the JFI kids (both Israeli and American) and is so glad that she can always talk to them -- and that most share her new perspective. Last night she said, "You know, I really feel like the JFI'ers are now my 'go to' people." Needless to say, I am more than delighted!!!
So, the wedding! What an experience. First of all, it was EIGHT HOURS LONG!!! Okay, the first two were spent taking pictures, but once the rest of the guests arrived it went on for six more hours and the last four or so were spent in NON-STOP dancing! [Non-stop for the kids that is. Some of us "older folks" needed a breather -- or more than a breather -- here and there.] It was a special privilege for us to be in attendance. Sarah and I were the ONLY family from my cousin Janice's (the bride's mother) side and we were truly treated like honored guests! Her dad is over 90 and couldn't make the trip and neither could either of her sisters. Both she (Janice) and Nechami were SO happy to have us there. Even though we didn't "fit the mold" (we certainly dressed much more modestly than usual -- long skirts, elbows covered, no low-cut tops -- but we were wearing sandals, I did not cover my hair, and we apparently failed to get the memo that black was the order of the day) we were literally embraced by my cousin's community. Many folks came up to us asking if we were "Lizzie and Sarah" (I am Lizzie to my family and Sarah found this most amusing since everyone at the wedding was referring to me by that name!) and told us how much they had heard about us and how happy they were to meet us. We were constantly drawn into the dance circle(s) and often into the center to dance with Nechami and other family members. Later in the evening, folks even brought chairs into the center of the circle for Nechami (who HAD to be exhausted) the mothers, grandmother and me to sit on while they danced around us!
First, a bit about the ceremony itself. Nechami, the bride, was seated on what could only be described as a "throne" prior to the ceremony. She was reciting psalms -- and davening furiously (I suspect this helped to let off some of the nervous energy) -- and people (mostly her friends from school) would come up to her and either ask her (or sometimes hand her notes) to pray for certain things (apparently -- often for them to find a chussin (husband) soon). It seems that they believe that the bride, on her wedding day, has kind of a direct line to God (I am SURE that they wouldn't describe it exactly like that!). At one point, we heard singing coming from the men's side. My cousin Janice (Yael to her Israeli friends and I had to keep remembering to switch names when speaking to them!) placed a veil (and I mean a VEIL -- opaque white embroidered square) over Nechami's head completely concealing her. The men then came over, singing and escorting Yehoshua (it kind of comes out "Y'shua" when they say it) -- the groom. The rabbi lifted the veil a bit and -- I am told, because I couldn't hear-- that Yehoshua said, "Yes, it is she." This ceremony is referred to as the bedekken and hearkens back to the famous Leah/Rachel "switcheroo" in which Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah first while he thought he was marrying Rachel! No one wants to chance this kind of thing happening again so the groom actually identifies the bride right before the chuppah (which is how the ceremony itself is referred to -- even though we think of it as referring only to the covering under which the bride and groom stand). Then the groom is led, by his father and the bride's father (or maybe it was the rabbi -- I just don't remember -- and, frankly, everyone was dressed so similarly -- the men that is -- it was sometimes hard to tell them apart at a distance) each carrying candles, to the chuppah. A word about this particular chuppah. The wedding was held in a reception hall which is part of large shopping complex in the community in which my cousin lives. The wedding ceremony itself, traditionally, must take place outside. So the chuppah was erected in the parking lot -- no kidding. After the groom had left, the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom -- again each carrying candles -- led the veiled (and for all intents and purposes, blind) bride to the chuppah. [You should know this necessitated a 3 story elevator ride -- just a tad anachronistic given the very "traditional" feel of this whole thing -- couldn't exactly picture the wedding in Fiddler on the Roof with the bride riding in an elevator! On the other hand -- as Tevya would say :-) -- it was probably a better idea than trying to lead a veiled bride down three flights of stairs!] Once at the chuppah, the bride (and both moms) circled the groom 7 times (no easy trick given the relatively small space AND the fact that the photographer was -- literally -- crawling in between the parties to take pictures!). The ceremony itself is very brief -- no drash by the rabbi as we are accustomed to -- just the essentials: reading of the ketubah, blessing and drinking wine, placement of the ring on Nechami's finger with the requisite "Harei at m'kudeshet li....", breaking the glass, and then seven blessings -- each recited by a different "Rav" (=rabbi) who first needed to thread his way through the assembled masses to get to the chuppah (everyone was just sort of squeezed in around the chuppah -- no seats or rows or standing up when the bride comes in or "Here comes the bride" or any of that). The photographer was ridiculous -- although the "regulars" did not seem at all disturbed by this and seemed to take it completely in stride -- and a few times actually offered to take cameras from those in the crowd to take a better picture for them (since he was, literally, in the face of the bride and groom)!! I had a hard time explaining to Sarah that a Jewish wedding is really not a religious service. We spoke about what is required and it is, as I understand it, really very little in the way of pomp and circumstance. In fact, again, as I understand it -- please correct me if I am wrong -- even a rabbi is not necessary (except to comply with state law). So long as the ketubah is given, the ring (or something else of a certain value) is given to the bride, the groom says the formulaic words making his wife holy unto him, and there are three witnesses it's a done deal. All the rest is -- pardon the levity -- window dressing! Oh yes, there is also no, "You may now kiss your bride." Immediately after the ceremony the couple is ushered to a special room in which they spend about 45 min. together, alone, for the first time in their lives, BTW. Up until this time not only have they not kissed -- they have not TOUCHED one another. They were also required to not see or speak to each other for two weeks leading up to the wedding (I believe this is custom more than rule). Both bride and groom have been fasting all day leading up to the wedding so food is provided for them and they break the fast together and have the opportunity to spend some private time together. Then -- again, forgive the irreverence -- all hell breaks loose! The bride and groom are ushered into the reception amidst great singing and dancing. The bride's friends actually constructed a kind of canopy thing which she and the mothers came through to enter the reception.
As you might guess, being an Ultra-Orthodox wedding, there was a mechitza (separation screen) between the men's side and the women's side at the reception. [BTW, you should know that this did not prevent many women -- including Sarah and me -- from sneaking a peak to see what was going on over on the other side.] At first, this seemed awkward to us -- how could it be that the bride and groom couldn't dance together?!! But, you know, as the evening wore on, Sarah and I came to have an entirely different perspective. First of all, it was unmistakable that EVERYONE who was there was there because they wanted to be -- they were genuinely there to celebrate with the bride and groom and the families. No one was there because they were schlepped along as a date, or because the groom's father was their boss, or because they were hoping to "meet someone" or any of that. Also, EVERYONE -- who wanted to be -- was engaged ALL the time. No worries about having a "date" to dance with. One other big advantage to this arrangement was that, since the groom's parents are divorced there were no problems with who sits at which table and will it be awkward or any of that! And let me tell you, these folks take the directive to entertain the bride and groom on their wedding day quite literally. Nechami's school friends (remember, she is just 19 and just graduated from high school) had -- no joke -- about 15 different costumes that they brought out at different times (sombreros, or crazy wigs, or pom-poms like a cheerleader's). At one point, three of them came out in a costume that they were all inside of. At another there were several dancing in costumes that sort of looked like the Wall -- but I couldn't see what was written on them. Then they brought out this gigantic piece of white material (a circle with a hole in the middle) and the bride and her mom were ushered inside while everyone else held onto the material and danced around them waving it which made the bride's veil fly up in the air and made my cousin hang onto her sheitel (=wig)! The piece de resistance was when one of the friends came out carrying a big pole with balloons on it. They stood Nechami on a chair and gave her a flower with a point of some sort attached. Her job was to use this to break the balloons, one by one, as people danced around with the pole. Each time a balloon broke it released a shower of glitter which sprinkled all of us. Unfortunately, this also led to the one "backfire" of the evening. Somehow, Nechami got a face full of glitter necessitating her sitting down -- right in the middle of the circle while people kept dancing -- while her mom, mother-in-law and SARAH tried to get it out of her eyelashes, mouth and just about everywhere else! Several times during the evening, Nechami pulled Sarah into the center of the circle to dance with her. Oh yes, we saw the men lifting Yehoshua in a chair and dancing with him and, all of a sudden, Nechami was on a TABLE and about a dozen of her schoolmates lifted her in the air and danced all around with her while she threw candy to everyone! So -- you get the picture? I honestly don't think I have EVER seen such an expression of unbridled (no pun intended) joy.
One other comment about the interaction between men and women. I have noted this in the past, but was again struck by how unbelievably warm these men can be without touching you. As Sarah said, "It actually feels like a hug!" Before the wedding, Yehoshua (whom we had not yet met) was sitting with his father having a conversation when Sarah and I walked into the hall to help set up the flowers (yes -- this was in large part a do-it-yourself affair). He immediately got up and came over to us and said, "You must be Lizzie and Sarah. Thank you so much for coming! I have heard such wonderful things about you and I know that Janice and Nechami are just thrilled that you can be here and so am I." Can you believe it?!!
Even though it was after midnight when Sarah and I finally got on the road back to Tel Aviv, we both felt unbelievably energized. We were each -- and both -- struck by how warm the community is that my cousin is a part of. Until now, to be honest, we had only seen the "restrictiveness" of it (e.g., women dressed in long sleeves and stockings in the middle of the summer in Israel, stopping everything so the men can go and pray numerous times a day, etc.). While I don't think this is the life for me, or for Sarah -- and while I still have some "issues" with the lack of choices that kids brought up in this community have -- both of us can now see the "up side" of this kind of life. Pardon the double entendre here (given the "dress code" for this community), but things are certainly not black and white :-) !!
Wow -- that was a long post! But -- it was a LONG wedding and -- even though it has made our time away several weeks longer -- we are SO SO glad that we stayed for it! It was, truly, a once in a lifetime experience. We will be back in Rochester late Wednesday evening and look forward to seeing you all soon!
Warmly,
Liz
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Day 28 - Going Down from Jerusalem, and Down, and Down...
Those of you who are familiar with the topography of Israel will probably guess that my next stop, after Jerusalem, was the Dead Sea -- the lowest point on earth!
As we left Jerusalem, on our way to Modi'in where Sarah was scheduled to spend the weekend with JFI friends, both of us commented that there is no other place quite like Jerusalem. It is truly a holy city and one that is clearly seen that way by an incredible diversity of people. Spending any time at all in J'm, one is likely to see just about every type of Charedi (Ultra-Orthodox) Jew (you can tell them apart by the style of their dress -- my "favorite" were the ones who wear a striped coat so it looks like they are walking around in their bathrobes!), Modern Orthodox, and secular Jews. But you also see all different sorts of Christian priests (again distinguishable by their dress) as well as Moslems of varying degree of "orthodoxy." And virtually ALL of these folks come in all colors :-). At least on the surface, almost all of these folks seem able to share this holy space without conflict.
After dropping Sarah off in Modi'in (along with a very large box of extra stuff that we shipped home rather than pay the exorbitant rates for extra luggage) I set course (thanks to the GPS) for Ein Bokek on the shore of the Dead Sea. It is about a 2 hour trip from the center of the country. And during the course of this trip, one goes down about 4000 ft in altitude!
Most, if not all, of you know that moving to Israel is referred to as making "aliyah". This word comes from the Hebrew root (ayin - lamed - hey) which means to go up. What some of you may not know is that the term has both real and symbolic meaning. Certainly the idea of making aliyah reflects a spiritual homecoming and "going up" to live in the holy land promised as a homeland to the Jews. The significance of this is exemplified by the term used to describe those who emigrate FROM Israel -- "yoredim" -- which means those who go down but usually has a significantly perjorative meaning. [BTW, there is an interesting book called "The Much Too Promised Land" which speaks about how many people see this land has having been promised to them.] But the term also refers to the fact that when one travels to Jerusalem one definitely goes up. The city is at about 2500 ft. ABOVE sea level. The surface of the Dead Sea -- said to be the lowest point on earth -- is at about 1400 ft. BELOW sea level.
The "plunge" begins in earnest about halfway into the trip. The road becomes one lane in each direction and snakes -- and I DO mean snakes -- downward through the desert. The posted speed limit is 90 kmh (which is about 55 mph) but anyone who would drive down that road at that speed has to be completely meshugina which -- pretty much -- describes most Israeli drivers! [Israeli drivers deserve a blog post all to themselves!!!] I did not go more than about 30 mph which meant that I was quickly leading a "train" of cars behind me. From time to time I would move to the right (in places where the shoulder was wider) and let the accumulated masses pass before continuing on. Interestingly, NO ONE blew their horn at me. This is remarkable only because in pretty much any other place in Israel people blow their horns at you if you are even a fraction of a second late going when the light turns green. In fact, in this country they have a signal that the light is ABOUT to turn green (the yellow light comes on along with the red) just so everyone can get ready to floor the accelerator pedal!!!
Driving through the Judean desert is an experience unto itself. From time to time you hear about someone (usually a pilgrim of some sort) getting lost and dying in the desert. When you see it you can readily imagine how easily this could happen. So, although dangerous to get lost in, it is beautiful to behold. Mile after mile of undulating hills which vary in color from almost yellow to a rich shade of red. Interestingly, all along the way you can see caves in the hills. These caves are much like the ones at Qumran in which the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered and their are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of them. The story, as I heard it, goes that the scrolls were discovered when a goat-herd looking for a wayward goat happened, by chance, upon the cave that contained them. It could truly be described as a "shot in the dark." Makes one wonder what treasures others of these caves might hold.
The decline in altitude is very sharp. As a scuba diver one learns that you should equalize the pressure in your ears (usually done by holding your nose and blowing) about every 10 ft. on the way down. That is just impossible on this drive. You would be holding your nose the whole way! So I settled for occasional equalization and tolerating the discomfort the rest of the time. All of the hotels in Ein Bokek are located along a strip perhaps a half mile long (if that). I had made reservations at someplace called the Rimonim -- I thought. Turns out that that is the name of a chain of hotels and this particular one is called the Royal (which is all that is on the building). So it took me three or four trips up and down this strip (and "perfecting" my ability to ask where the darn place was in Hebrew -- for a major tourist destination, there appears to be a real shortage of English speakers) until I discovered that I had been driving right by it all along.
The hotel is "alright." It is clearly dated, but I came for the pool and the sun and they are maginficent! Every few hours some guy comes around to those at the pool offering fresh fruit or ices. They actually do aquaerobic classes at the pool which led to my quickly learning the difference between "go to the right" ("yamina") and "go to the left ("smola"). I needed these in order to avoid crashing into the person next to me! Actually, I have found another great way to learn some Hebrew. There are a couple of cooking shows in Hebrew and since it is clear what the person is doing, listening to the Hebrew allows me to pick up some new words and phrases. One guy constantly refers to the "mixer" (with a Hebrew accent) and I wonder if this is common or unique to him. The same goes for reading the Hebrew subtitles on English-language shows. You do just start to pick things up by hearing them all the time. Yesterday I "eaves dropped" on the conversation of a family sitting next to me at the pool who were deciding when to go up (l'mala) to their room and when to eat dinner (aruchat erev). At the pool you also here a lot of "Bo-ee" = "come to me" (generally shouted by mothers to their children). The same goes, BTW, for the beaches. The Israeli lifeguards are notorious for using their bullhorns to corral swimmers who may be venturing too far out. They generally call to the "yeled" (boy) or the "giveret" (woman) etc. and identify the person by the color of their bathing suit. Unfortunately, their cries sound so imperative that when you first hear them you would think that they had spotted a shark!! I said this to Sarah and she said, "Maybe they did. How would we know?" I assured her that the couple of hundred other folks in the water would probably be heading toward shore if that were the case :-) !!
So one more day at the pool and then I will pick up Sarah and we will be off to Tel Aviv for the wedding and the trip home. Although I have LOVED virtually every minute of this trip (okay -- not being honked at by the Israeli drivers) I am ready to come home. It's a long time to be away. Sarah has been gone even longer and misses her Dad and being able to text her friends (I'm not completely sure which of those is more important)!
As we left Jerusalem, on our way to Modi'in where Sarah was scheduled to spend the weekend with JFI friends, both of us commented that there is no other place quite like Jerusalem. It is truly a holy city and one that is clearly seen that way by an incredible diversity of people. Spending any time at all in J'm, one is likely to see just about every type of Charedi (Ultra-Orthodox) Jew (you can tell them apart by the style of their dress -- my "favorite" were the ones who wear a striped coat so it looks like they are walking around in their bathrobes!), Modern Orthodox, and secular Jews. But you also see all different sorts of Christian priests (again distinguishable by their dress) as well as Moslems of varying degree of "orthodoxy." And virtually ALL of these folks come in all colors :-). At least on the surface, almost all of these folks seem able to share this holy space without conflict.
After dropping Sarah off in Modi'in (along with a very large box of extra stuff that we shipped home rather than pay the exorbitant rates for extra luggage) I set course (thanks to the GPS) for Ein Bokek on the shore of the Dead Sea. It is about a 2 hour trip from the center of the country. And during the course of this trip, one goes down about 4000 ft in altitude!
Most, if not all, of you know that moving to Israel is referred to as making "aliyah". This word comes from the Hebrew root (ayin - lamed - hey) which means to go up. What some of you may not know is that the term has both real and symbolic meaning. Certainly the idea of making aliyah reflects a spiritual homecoming and "going up" to live in the holy land promised as a homeland to the Jews. The significance of this is exemplified by the term used to describe those who emigrate FROM Israel -- "yoredim" -- which means those who go down but usually has a significantly perjorative meaning. [BTW, there is an interesting book called "The Much Too Promised Land" which speaks about how many people see this land has having been promised to them.] But the term also refers to the fact that when one travels to Jerusalem one definitely goes up. The city is at about 2500 ft. ABOVE sea level. The surface of the Dead Sea -- said to be the lowest point on earth -- is at about 1400 ft. BELOW sea level.
The "plunge" begins in earnest about halfway into the trip. The road becomes one lane in each direction and snakes -- and I DO mean snakes -- downward through the desert. The posted speed limit is 90 kmh (which is about 55 mph) but anyone who would drive down that road at that speed has to be completely meshugina which -- pretty much -- describes most Israeli drivers! [Israeli drivers deserve a blog post all to themselves!!!] I did not go more than about 30 mph which meant that I was quickly leading a "train" of cars behind me. From time to time I would move to the right (in places where the shoulder was wider) and let the accumulated masses pass before continuing on. Interestingly, NO ONE blew their horn at me. This is remarkable only because in pretty much any other place in Israel people blow their horns at you if you are even a fraction of a second late going when the light turns green. In fact, in this country they have a signal that the light is ABOUT to turn green (the yellow light comes on along with the red) just so everyone can get ready to floor the accelerator pedal!!!
Driving through the Judean desert is an experience unto itself. From time to time you hear about someone (usually a pilgrim of some sort) getting lost and dying in the desert. When you see it you can readily imagine how easily this could happen. So, although dangerous to get lost in, it is beautiful to behold. Mile after mile of undulating hills which vary in color from almost yellow to a rich shade of red. Interestingly, all along the way you can see caves in the hills. These caves are much like the ones at Qumran in which the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered and their are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of them. The story, as I heard it, goes that the scrolls were discovered when a goat-herd looking for a wayward goat happened, by chance, upon the cave that contained them. It could truly be described as a "shot in the dark." Makes one wonder what treasures others of these caves might hold.
The decline in altitude is very sharp. As a scuba diver one learns that you should equalize the pressure in your ears (usually done by holding your nose and blowing) about every 10 ft. on the way down. That is just impossible on this drive. You would be holding your nose the whole way! So I settled for occasional equalization and tolerating the discomfort the rest of the time. All of the hotels in Ein Bokek are located along a strip perhaps a half mile long (if that). I had made reservations at someplace called the Rimonim -- I thought. Turns out that that is the name of a chain of hotels and this particular one is called the Royal (which is all that is on the building). So it took me three or four trips up and down this strip (and "perfecting" my ability to ask where the darn place was in Hebrew -- for a major tourist destination, there appears to be a real shortage of English speakers) until I discovered that I had been driving right by it all along.
The hotel is "alright." It is clearly dated, but I came for the pool and the sun and they are maginficent! Every few hours some guy comes around to those at the pool offering fresh fruit or ices. They actually do aquaerobic classes at the pool which led to my quickly learning the difference between "go to the right" ("yamina") and "go to the left ("smola"). I needed these in order to avoid crashing into the person next to me! Actually, I have found another great way to learn some Hebrew. There are a couple of cooking shows in Hebrew and since it is clear what the person is doing, listening to the Hebrew allows me to pick up some new words and phrases. One guy constantly refers to the "mixer" (with a Hebrew accent) and I wonder if this is common or unique to him. The same goes for reading the Hebrew subtitles on English-language shows. You do just start to pick things up by hearing them all the time. Yesterday I "eaves dropped" on the conversation of a family sitting next to me at the pool who were deciding when to go up (l'mala) to their room and when to eat dinner (aruchat erev). At the pool you also here a lot of "Bo-ee" = "come to me" (generally shouted by mothers to their children). The same goes, BTW, for the beaches. The Israeli lifeguards are notorious for using their bullhorns to corral swimmers who may be venturing too far out. They generally call to the "yeled" (boy) or the "giveret" (woman) etc. and identify the person by the color of their bathing suit. Unfortunately, their cries sound so imperative that when you first hear them you would think that they had spotted a shark!! I said this to Sarah and she said, "Maybe they did. How would we know?" I assured her that the couple of hundred other folks in the water would probably be heading toward shore if that were the case :-) !!
So one more day at the pool and then I will pick up Sarah and we will be off to Tel Aviv for the wedding and the trip home. Although I have LOVED virtually every minute of this trip (okay -- not being honked at by the Israeli drivers) I am ready to come home. It's a long time to be away. Sarah has been gone even longer and misses her Dad and being able to text her friends (I'm not completely sure which of those is more important)!
Day 25 - Rosh Chodesh Elul
Chodesh tov to all! So this morning the Women of the Wall met to conduct services at the Wall. Sarah and I, and my sister-in-law, were among them. It was fascinating and wonderful.
To begin with I was shocked when we arrived at about 6:45 (services began at 7 AM) to see the entire men's side of the plaza in front of the wall completely filled! Given that this is Rosh Chodesh Elul which, of course, marks the beginning of the month in which the High Holy Days fall, perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised. But I had never seen it like that.
At a few minutes before 7 many other members of the group arrived. We were situated at the very back of the women's section of the plaza in front of the Wall. There were two police officers (one male, one female) there and it turned out that they were there to PROTECT us. There were also about a dozen soldiers lined up on the men's side of the mechitza facing the men. It was not clear to me whether this was the norm or whether it had anything to do with our presence.
All in all, it was a remarkably -- and pleasantly so -- peaceful gathering. Unfortunately, the founder of the Women of the Wall, and head of the IRAC (Israel Religious Action Center) -- Anat Hoffman -- was not in attendance. Apparently she is speaking in Australia. However there were about 20 "regulars" and another 10 or so folks like us. The service was very traditional which was a bit of a challenge for me. We were asked to bring our own siddurim and I brought the rather newly published Koren Siddur, written by the Chief Rabbi of the UK. I expected that it would be a traditional service and this siddur follows that pattern -- but also has English translation. Frankly, I surprised myself that I was able to follow at all given the absence of page number announcements, etc. Although I did get lost several times, others were more than happy to help me find my place.
When it was time for the Torah service we walked -- and sang -- together with the Torah (which had been held outside of the area during the first part of the service) to Robinson's Arch. You may remember that it was carrying the Torah (closed) to the service at the Wall that got Anat arrested about a year ago and that led to the picture-taking effort in which so many of you participated. One young girl was celebrating her Bat Mitzvah and there was great joy, candy throwing, singing and dancing. One of the regulars noted that she was not wearing a tallit as she approached the Torah and offered hers. The young girl accepted and seemed to be beaming. Turns out that, pretty much, a Torah service is a Torah service is a Torah service -- so that was easier to follow as were the closing prayers (Aleinu, etc.). Then followed the kiddush which included -- much to Sarah's delight as she has become a fan of this -- Bomba!! Bomba is the Israeli junk food. It looks rather like cheese doodles but tastes like peanut butter. We will bring some home, although someone told Sarah that you can buy it at Wegmans. Nu?!!
In any case, many of you know how much I was looking forward to this experience and it did not disappoint. My sister-in-law wore a tallit for the first time in her life (she is exactly my age). She also engaged the police officer in conversation, thanking him for his assistance. He told her that, of course, what we were doing was in opposition to the ruling of the Supreme Court. Israel may be the only place in the world where it seems that people regularly IGNORE the rulings of the Supreme Court -- and policemen protect them while they do it!!! I understand that the degree of protection and or harassment offered varies with who the police officer(s) happen to be, but it was pretty clear that these folks saw their job as letting us do our "thing" with a minimum of disturbance.
We really didn't seem to attract too much attention until we began to sing. At that point we started to receive very disapproving looks from some of the very traditional (apparent from their dress) women. A few shouted at us saying things (in Hebrew, of course) like, sheket (quiet), or just sha. But we also heard "Shame on you," and similar things. The regulars either didn't respond or simply responded with a smile and a "Chodesh tov." Only two women approached the group and screamed in the face of the leader. The leader just kept going and shortly the male police officer got in front of the shouting woman and told her that we heard what she had to say and it was time to move on. Right before the conclusion of the part of the service that we conducted at the Wall (the Torah service was held around the corner at Robinson's Arch) a woman approached who was really screaming, "You are all garbage," "You should go pray in the mosque," etc. Interestingly, two young women -- also Orthodox from their dress -- approached her, put their arms around her and quieted her down and led her away! We heard nothing from the men's side. It did seem to me that when we began to sing, their singing got louder on the other side but that might have been a coincidence. Certainly they did not shout at us or throw chairs or anything else as has happened in the past.
On the positive side, there were quite a few women -- also clearly Orthodox -- who seemed interested in what we were doing. Again, everything was said in Hebrew but I did hear one exclaim to the other -- in a positive tone -- something about the "chazzanit" (female chazzan = cantor). A few stopped to listen to us and several smiled and wished us a Chodesh tov. I may have been imagining it but it seemed to me that I saw some wistfulness in the eyes of some of the younger women, almost like they were thinking, "Wow, I wish I could join you." BTW, many of the Women of the Wall (WOW) would freely identify themselves as Orthodox Jews. There were also about half a dozen men who had gathered right behind us and behind the screen which marks the division of the plaza considered to be a holy space and the much larger plaza behind it. These men joined us in prayer and accompanied us when we went to read Torah. Two of the men were rabbis -- one on sabbatical in Israel. I read an interesting reflection on the WOW website written by a Orthodox Rabbi who was endorsing the right of women to pray freely at the Wall. He had also attended one of the WOW services and stood behind the screen. He commented about how it made him reflect on what it must be like to be a woman in the women's section of an Orthodox synagogue needing to bob and weave in order to just catch sight of what is going on at the bima!!
Now for a bit about dinner last night. This will be of particular interest to those of you who were in Sharon Shafrir's Hebrew 101 class at MCC a couple of years ago. We went to Beit Ticho for dinner. This is a museum and a lovely restaurant (mostly outdoors) in what was the home of a Dr. Ticho who was an ophthalmologist and is credited with having saved the sight of countless Arabs by offering free treatment in his clinic. His wife, Anna, was a watercolor artist and the house is now a museum containing many of her creations. There is also a lovely outdoor restaurant. My sister-in-law had eaten there before but she wondered why I was so insistent that we have a meal there. It turns out that Beit Ticho was the subject of a fairly complex Hebrew exercise that we completed in the class mentioned above. I was not going to miss the chance to visit the place live!
To begin with I was shocked when we arrived at about 6:45 (services began at 7 AM) to see the entire men's side of the plaza in front of the wall completely filled! Given that this is Rosh Chodesh Elul which, of course, marks the beginning of the month in which the High Holy Days fall, perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised. But I had never seen it like that.
At a few minutes before 7 many other members of the group arrived. We were situated at the very back of the women's section of the plaza in front of the Wall. There were two police officers (one male, one female) there and it turned out that they were there to PROTECT us. There were also about a dozen soldiers lined up on the men's side of the mechitza facing the men. It was not clear to me whether this was the norm or whether it had anything to do with our presence.
All in all, it was a remarkably -- and pleasantly so -- peaceful gathering. Unfortunately, the founder of the Women of the Wall, and head of the IRAC (Israel Religious Action Center) -- Anat Hoffman -- was not in attendance. Apparently she is speaking in Australia. However there were about 20 "regulars" and another 10 or so folks like us. The service was very traditional which was a bit of a challenge for me. We were asked to bring our own siddurim and I brought the rather newly published Koren Siddur, written by the Chief Rabbi of the UK. I expected that it would be a traditional service and this siddur follows that pattern -- but also has English translation. Frankly, I surprised myself that I was able to follow at all given the absence of page number announcements, etc. Although I did get lost several times, others were more than happy to help me find my place.
When it was time for the Torah service we walked -- and sang -- together with the Torah (which had been held outside of the area during the first part of the service) to Robinson's Arch. You may remember that it was carrying the Torah (closed) to the service at the Wall that got Anat arrested about a year ago and that led to the picture-taking effort in which so many of you participated. One young girl was celebrating her Bat Mitzvah and there was great joy, candy throwing, singing and dancing. One of the regulars noted that she was not wearing a tallit as she approached the Torah and offered hers. The young girl accepted and seemed to be beaming. Turns out that, pretty much, a Torah service is a Torah service is a Torah service -- so that was easier to follow as were the closing prayers (Aleinu, etc.). Then followed the kiddush which included -- much to Sarah's delight as she has become a fan of this -- Bomba!! Bomba is the Israeli junk food. It looks rather like cheese doodles but tastes like peanut butter. We will bring some home, although someone told Sarah that you can buy it at Wegmans. Nu?!!
In any case, many of you know how much I was looking forward to this experience and it did not disappoint. My sister-in-law wore a tallit for the first time in her life (she is exactly my age). She also engaged the police officer in conversation, thanking him for his assistance. He told her that, of course, what we were doing was in opposition to the ruling of the Supreme Court. Israel may be the only place in the world where it seems that people regularly IGNORE the rulings of the Supreme Court -- and policemen protect them while they do it!!! I understand that the degree of protection and or harassment offered varies with who the police officer(s) happen to be, but it was pretty clear that these folks saw their job as letting us do our "thing" with a minimum of disturbance.
We really didn't seem to attract too much attention until we began to sing. At that point we started to receive very disapproving looks from some of the very traditional (apparent from their dress) women. A few shouted at us saying things (in Hebrew, of course) like, sheket (quiet), or just sha. But we also heard "Shame on you," and similar things. The regulars either didn't respond or simply responded with a smile and a "Chodesh tov." Only two women approached the group and screamed in the face of the leader. The leader just kept going and shortly the male police officer got in front of the shouting woman and told her that we heard what she had to say and it was time to move on. Right before the conclusion of the part of the service that we conducted at the Wall (the Torah service was held around the corner at Robinson's Arch) a woman approached who was really screaming, "You are all garbage," "You should go pray in the mosque," etc. Interestingly, two young women -- also Orthodox from their dress -- approached her, put their arms around her and quieted her down and led her away! We heard nothing from the men's side. It did seem to me that when we began to sing, their singing got louder on the other side but that might have been a coincidence. Certainly they did not shout at us or throw chairs or anything else as has happened in the past.
On the positive side, there were quite a few women -- also clearly Orthodox -- who seemed interested in what we were doing. Again, everything was said in Hebrew but I did hear one exclaim to the other -- in a positive tone -- something about the "chazzanit" (female chazzan = cantor). A few stopped to listen to us and several smiled and wished us a Chodesh tov. I may have been imagining it but it seemed to me that I saw some wistfulness in the eyes of some of the younger women, almost like they were thinking, "Wow, I wish I could join you." BTW, many of the Women of the Wall (WOW) would freely identify themselves as Orthodox Jews. There were also about half a dozen men who had gathered right behind us and behind the screen which marks the division of the plaza considered to be a holy space and the much larger plaza behind it. These men joined us in prayer and accompanied us when we went to read Torah. Two of the men were rabbis -- one on sabbatical in Israel. I read an interesting reflection on the WOW website written by a Orthodox Rabbi who was endorsing the right of women to pray freely at the Wall. He had also attended one of the WOW services and stood behind the screen. He commented about how it made him reflect on what it must be like to be a woman in the women's section of an Orthodox synagogue needing to bob and weave in order to just catch sight of what is going on at the bima!!
Now for a bit about dinner last night. This will be of particular interest to those of you who were in Sharon Shafrir's Hebrew 101 class at MCC a couple of years ago. We went to Beit Ticho for dinner. This is a museum and a lovely restaurant (mostly outdoors) in what was the home of a Dr. Ticho who was an ophthalmologist and is credited with having saved the sight of countless Arabs by offering free treatment in his clinic. His wife, Anna, was a watercolor artist and the house is now a museum containing many of her creations. There is also a lovely outdoor restaurant. My sister-in-law had eaten there before but she wondered why I was so insistent that we have a meal there. It turns out that Beit Ticho was the subject of a fairly complex Hebrew exercise that we completed in the class mentioned above. I was not going to miss the chance to visit the place live!
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